Friday, November 20, 2015

Children of Married Same-Sex Couples

What do you do when you have LGBTQ folk showing up to your church, and you don't want them there? Do you continue to attack them? Something that hasn't worked as well as you had hoped over the last two decades. Or do you rethink your approach? Maybe you go after their children. Maybe.

The Mormon church has decided to make up and enforce a new policy banning the children of same-sex couples from receiving the "blessings" of the church. This new policy was confirmed by the church on Friday, November 6th.

At first I was happy. I was truly excited that, once again, the Mormon church was showing it's true colors. By labeling homosexual members as "apostates" it was freeing all these people from the clutches of it's brainwashing program. I felt relief for these members and felt happy for the futures of their children, to be raised free of all the guilt and pain.

But that was very short lived. Ten seconds in I realized that this wasn't a lottery ticket. This wasn't what they wanted or hoped for from their church. The reason why they still attended and brought their kids along and paid tithing was because they still had a glimmer of hope that they would be viewed as real people, real children of god... one day.

Then I remembered the guilt and heavy heart I had as a member who never felt worthy enough. (And the church never came out and called me an apostate.) My heart ached for these individuals.

And this wasn't a way out, it was a slap in the face. As a straight ally, I left the church with Proposition 8. That was my breaking point. That was when my accumulative doubt added up to just too much to bear and Proposition 8 was the extra push that I couldn't handle. This wasn't the case for these members. They stayed. In the face of discrimination and judgement they believed enough to stay.

My relief quickly turned into frustration and anger. Joseph Smith and Jesus Christ never said anything about sexuality. And the church isn't bothering to focus on anything else Leviticus has to say about abominations. They aren't calling out folks who eat shellfish as apostates and prohibiting their children from baptism.

Children of murders, rapists, adulterers, and abusers can still be baptized, blessed, go on missions, get the priesthood (if they are male), get married in the temple, etc. But if your parents are in a committed marriage and love you enough to want you to be baptized and therefore 'saved', too bad so sad. The church is communicating to the world that they firmly believe that the messages you receive at home from a committed loving couple are worse than those you receive from abusers.

That is a new kind of bullshit.

I have read plenty of Mormonsplaining and I think I understand the motivation the church has for this dickhole move. They are protecting themselves from having to ever perform a same-sex marriage in the temple. They are lashing out against LGBT individuals by calling them apostates, pushing them away by punishing their children, and by doing so they are protecting the 'holiest of holies' - the temple and their plagiarized Freemason rituals. That is how I see it.

While existing in the church between 1980 and 2008 I have heard so many discussions with Mormon family members and friends about if 'gay' marriage passes, then 'they' will try to force the church to perform 'gay' temple sealings.

This new policy seems to be a last ditch effort to protect what the church has been trying to avoid for years. Because the church firmly believes that worthy members get their own planets after judgement day, and that the planet they get needs one man and multiple sister wives in order to make spirit babies, and you can't make spirit babies with two dudes or two chicks via spirit coitus, then they must be stopped from entering the temple. And the only way to do that is to make it a belief within the church so the government can't interfere.

I hope that this change causes LGBTQ members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to question their beliefs in Mormonism. I hope they have the support structure to leave. But I know that isn't always the case, and sometimes living an uncomfortable lie is better than living an excruciating truth. They are loved and worthy of so much more than the Mormon church has to offer.

Some LGBTQ members may believe that this policy is only temporary, like the policy regarding African American members up until 1978. Some LGBTQ members will live their lives in the closet, preferring the love of their family and community over the backlash they feel (or know) they would receive if they left the church. Some members will continue to go to church believing that 'god works in mysterious ways' and this is a test or something they shouldn't question.

No matter how you look at this new policy it hurts good people, it hurts families, and it hurts children.

1 comment:

John Draper said...


My name is John Draper. You don't know me from Adam. What led me to you is I'm a first-time novelist who is furiously marketing his first book, A Danger to God Himself. As such, I'm continually scouring the internet looking for blogs who might be willing to review my book.

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Let me tell you the story behind my story:

Writing this novel cost me my religion. I’m not bitter or anything. Actually, it was liberating.

I started the book eight years ago as an Evangelical who wanted to skewer Mormonism. The book took me eight years to write. I probably read 25 books on Mormonism (and read everything on Mormonthink at least twice) and 25 books on schizophrenia. What’s more, I started attending a local ward undercover.

Long story short, I saw that devout Latter-day Saints had the same religion I had, really. Basically, we both loved God and Christ and we wanted to serve God and live more like Christ. I had to admit, the only difference between us was the words we used to describe our experience.

Further, I came to realize that the only reason I believed what I believed was that someone had told me to believe it.

I was just like so many Latter-day Saints and Evangelicals—if not all.

Bottom line, I became an agnostic.

The novel is narrated in the first person by Kenny, the missionary companion who watches his companion, Jared, succumb to schizophrenia. At first, Kenny and others assume that the voices Jared is hearing and the visions he’s seeing are from Heavenly Father.

But as Jared gets sicker and sicker, Kenny has to rethink his whole view of God and how God does or doesn’t interact with the world. Kenny’s journey became my journey: theist to, at best, deist.

So . . . I’d like to send you a free copy of my novel. I’m hoping you’ll write a book review—good, bad, or indifferent. Or maybe you’d like to interview me. Or maybe I could do a guest post.

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I know the book's not for everyone. My mother, for example, loved it but complained it contained too much vulgarity. I'm not sure how much vulgarity is too much, but the book does contain 91 F Bombs. (I counted.)

Let me know if you would like to talk more.

Thanks for your time