Wednesday, March 1, 2017

The Time Will Pass Anyway...

Growing up in a traditional Mormon household, my education wasn't something that was prioritized.

For most of my life I believed the purpose of going to college was so that I could meet a return missionary and get married. Never did I think for a second that I would ever have to work outside of the home. Getting an education past high school would have served no purpose.

I was going to go to college, meet a worthy return missionary, get sealed in the temple and have a plethora of babies. I am pretty sure I have mentioned this on my blog in previous entries.

However, my plan didn't work out the way I had hoped. I couldn't afford BYU, even though I had the grades and ACT score to get accepted. So I went to my local community college.

I spent my time at the Institute of Religion and in class. The first year I went because I wanted to have a strong Mormon community. I was still dating my high school boyfriend, who was Presbyterian, so I wasn't really looking for my future spouse. I thought I had already found him and just had to convert him.

After Sean and I broke up, I tried to focus on meeting the real man of my dreams. I felt that any day prince charming would show up and sweep me off my feet. I met a bunch of awesome people, but none of them felt quite right. I had already been intimate with my high school boyfriend, so I was looking for someone who was as broken as I was. This was nearly impossible. People don't normally confess their sins on a first date, and I felt so unworthy of everyone I met that I ended up avoiding Mormon boys.

Before long, I was married and struggling to finish what I had started. Then I had children. I tried to prevent that from stopping me, even to the point where I had to move a mid-term with the permission of my teacher because my c-section was scheduled on the same day.

All of this to end up unemployed and homeless in a far away state, trying to start a new life with my two little girls and my husband.

Then, a few years later, I got a job at our local university. That is when things changed. I have spent the last 3 years working my ass off. I have taken a full load of courses every semester, I worked full time, I raised my children, and I was a supportive spouse. And now here I am - two months away from graduating with my Bachelor of Science in Sociology, Women and Gender Studies, with a minor in Educational Psychology.

I have already been accepted into graduate school. And I cannot believe it is happening after all these years.

I keep going back to the pivotal moment when I asked my husband if he felt that going back to school to get my degree was a good idea. And he said, "Lei - you might as well, the time is going to pass anyway."

He was right. The time did pass, and I may as well have worked on my degree. Yes, I missed out on making some homemade meals. Yes, I missed out on some game nights, or helping with some homework. However, I am hoping that the example I set for my little girls will stay with them the rest of their lives. I hope that my degree will give me the education I need in order to move up within the university. I hope my master's degree leads me to a doctorate.

Yet, no matter what - the time will pass anyway.

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